Let's call it out. I am not a fan of networking. There. I said it. It's definitely not the same as talking to your friends - I have no problem talking to them for hours! However, when it comes to networking, aka talking to people you have never met before in an attempt to form a connection in a very short space of time, I find this challenging. It could be the introvert in me, or that I am just not that confident talking in big groups - I love a good 1-on-1 DM though.
However, as highlighted in this Harvard Business Review article, in today's world, networking is a necessity. So, why don't I feel comfortable doing it? Well, a few reasons; unlike my salesman of a husband, small talk doesn't come naturally to me. I feel uncomfortable being the centre of attention (ie the one talking), and what if I say something that sounds really stupid?
Wow. It’s a lesson in vulnerability really, isn't it? In her book, Daring Greatly, Brené Brown describes vulnerability as "uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure." It's that unstable feeling we get when we step out of our comfort zone and put ourselves out there, meaning there’s a far greater risk of getting criticised or feeling hurt.
And I have drunk the Brené Brown kool-aid and I know that in order to develop myself as a leader I need to 'get vulnerable' and put myself out there. So, here are 5 tips I am working on to overcome my fear of networking:
1. Start small
You don't have to talk to everyone in the room! Aim to talk to one person, it could just be the person sitting next to you. You never know, once that is achieved you may feel like talking to another.
2. Smile
It's easy to forget to do this, I am terrible, I concentrate so hard on what I am going to say that I forget this one thing. So, smile and just say ‘Hi, I'm Holly’. Keep it simple.
3. Have a response ready
'What do you do?'. It's the first question most people ask (after what is your name, which you really should know). So, have a response to this question ready! Practise it in front of the bathroom mirror when you're getting ready. And keep it short, succinct and say it with confidence. Which you will, if you have practised it! For example, mine is: ‘I look after the marketing for Yarno, a microlearning platform'.
And then think about what they might ask next. They might say, sounds interesting, tell me more. And, I’d say ‘well, we help companies achieve business goals through our learning app'. And if they want more detail, I might go on to say, 'we take large chunks of training materials, extract the key takeaways and deliver them in bite-pieces in the form of a daily quiz.’ Easy? It is when you’ve practised.
4. Ask lots of questions
Most people (not me, but most) love talking about themselves and it's a great way to find out what other people do, which I find fascinating. Asking questions also gives you time to think while you listen. Again, have a think about some questions; ‘what does your company do, who is your target audience? What successes have you had lately?’, are good ones to start with.
5. View it as learning opportunity!
Don't see networking as a chore - something you have to attend because it's for work - rather, view it as an opportunity to learn and discover something new and interesting. In the Harvard Business Review article I mentioned earlier, the author talks about how most people have a predominant motivational focus - what psychologists refer to as 'promotion' or 'prevention' mindsets. I'm sure we can gather how a prevention mindset might view networking (i.e. a chore), whereas promotion mindsets approach networking thinking about the growth, advancement, and accomplishments that networking can bring them. What a great attitude! So, why not try a promotion mindset out next time and see what you can learn?!
